In the not too distant future lives a trio of nine-year old Boy Princes: Sebastian, swan-like and sweet, Balthazar, bashful yet brave, and Marion, merry and melodious. Of course simply everyone agrees, even those in the most boyish of circles, that none can possibly match the boys’ coquettish youth and unbridled innocence. Tended to by their faithful and wise Indian Manservant, Pasha, the boys live out their days attired in the finest of clothes and surrounded by opulence-their every whim and passing fancy more than attended to. One day, the boys, along with Pasha, go out into the harsh world to watch their leather-clad uncle, Flavian, ride around upon his magnificent motorcycle. Flavian’s manly presence captivates the boys, much to Pasha’s dismay and jealousy, as he shows off the metal steed snarling between his legs. Balthazar asks to ride upon the motorcycle himself, but, distrustful of Flavian, Pasha tries to prevent Balthazar from fulfilling his desire. After some back and forth between Balthazar, Pasha, and Flavian, the other two boys vocalize their desire to ride with their uncle as well. A fight between the three boys ensues: a fight brought to an abrupt in when Flavian announces he won’t let any of the boys ride with until they can decide on who among them is the most boyish-for only the most boyish boy is fit to ride his shotgun. And with that, Flavian drives off. Pasha, sensing the boys’ disappointment, attempts to lull them into happier state with the promise of butterscotch pops. The boys, saddened by their Uncle’s departure, ignore Pasha and return home in silence. Later that night, the boys apologize to one another, but this fraternal reconciliation is not enough to solve the boys’ greater problem: deciding who among them is the most boyish of boys. Suddenly, inspiration strikes Sebastian, and he suggests they hold a competition to settle the dispute. Balthazar wholeheartedly agrees, but Marion dismays over who will serve as their judge. After a moment, Sebastian suggests Paris of Troy, famed and fabled judge of judges. Again Marion defies his brother, pointing out that Paris is a fictional character. Sensing the growing tension between his siblings, Balthazar suggests that if they all wish hard enough, Paris might yet spring to life. And so, the boys link hands and attempt to wish fiction into flesh. With a poof of smoke, Paris appears, but rejects the boys’ request to judge them, insisting that nothing short of blood, rape, and war will come of such a competition. Paris disappears as quickly as he appeared, leaving the boys despondent once more. After a fitful and sleepless number of hours, Marion shoots out of bed, ready with a suitable judge: the boys’ older cousin and former boy prince, Evelyn. Ecstatic, Balthazar hugs Marion; Sebastian only grudgingly agrees with his brothers that Evelyn should be their judge. A couple of days later, a letter from the boys arrives at a dingy, rundown apartment. A mysterious woman hands the letter to a disheveled, drunk, and half-masked man-Evelyn. Evelyn reads the letter, and a twisted smile forms across his face as he learns of the boys’ boyish boy competition. Evelyn remembers when he was young and beautiful, and how the boys robbed him of said beauty, spilling water upon and disfiguring his beautiful, beautiful face. Evelyn tells the mysterious woman that he will judge the boys and the two have wild, animal-like sex. The next day, Sebastian, Balthazar, and Marion practice preening and posing until Pasha rushes into the room. The boys ask if their cousin Evelyn is coming to judge them, but Pasha dodges the answer, urging his charges to abandon the competition. Lacking the patience for Pasha’s worrisome prattle, the boys insist on knowing Evelyn’s decision. Pasha reveals that Evelyn has indeed accepted the invitation and is already on his way. Balthazar dismisses Pasha, but not before Evelyn makes his grand entrance. Evelyn makes a show of belittling the poor manservant in front of his charges, and Pasha leaves them, humiliated. The moment he exits, the mysterious woman from Evelyn’s apartment makes her grand entrance. Evelyn introduces her as the Lady Bernadine, and she instantly enthralls the boys. Sebastian proclaims that he will recite her a love sonnet, to which Marion retorts that he would be better suited to the task. Before another altercation ensues, Evelyn reveals that reciting the sonnet will be the first task of their competition. He calls forth Marion first, who stumbles and stalls, ultimately reciting a poor poem. Next, Evelyn calls on Balthazar, who, heretofore, has not been able to take his eyes away from the exotic Lady Bernadine. At first startled, Balthazar ultimately recovers, reciting a truly beautiful love sonnet. Bernadine, insanely aroused by the poem, grabs Balthazar by the hand and leads him out of the room. Evelyn declares Balthazar the winner of the first trial, much to Sebastian’s dismay. When Sebastian attempts to voice his dismay, Evelyn pays no mind and insists that the competition continue. Bernadine leads a confused yet excited Balthazar down a hallway past an anxious Pasha. Pasha insists that Bernadine tell him where she is taking Balthazar, but she ignores him. When Pasha persists, Balthazar turns on his servant and orders him to go away. Pasha helplessly looks on as Bernadine and Balthazar disappear around the corner. Meanwhile, back in the competition, Sebastian completes a most graceful Ballet, but Evelyn mocks the performance, knowing full that such a mockery will incite the already agitated Boy Prince. Marion then dances his ballet-a most ungraceful and decidedly most unboyish performance. Evelyn, despite Sebastian’s superiority, declares Marion the winner of the ballet trial, hoping to push Sebastian over the edge. The ploy succeeds as Sebastian attempts to strike Marion. Evelyn comes between the two boys, insisting that Sebastian apologizes for his brutish effrontery. Sebastian refuses, agitating Marion. Pasha pokes his head into the room and witnesses Evelyn announce that Sebastian and Marion will settle their differences in a duel. Pasha gasps, alerting Evelyn to his presence. Evelyn shuts the door in Pasha’s face. Thrice rejected, Pasha despairs, but then resolves to win back his charges’ affections. He starts off down the hall with a newfound sense of purpose. Meanwhile, Bernadine leads Balthazar into a dark, dingy room. Balthazar tells her that he is afraid, but Bernadine sits him down in a metal chair and bears her breasts to the young boy. He asks to leave and rejoin the competition, but Bernadine ignores him and begins to kiss the now very frightened boy. Balthazar cries out into the darkness as Bernadine proceeds to ravage him. Back in the competition, Sebastian and Marion face off in a slapping duel where the boy with the most face slaps wins the whole boyish boy competition. Though Sebastian takes an early lead, Evelyn, clearly playing favorites, takes away all of his cousin’s points. Marion, sensing victory, mocks Sebastian. No longer able to contain his rage, Sebastian slaps Marion hard, snapping his neck and sending both of them to the floor with a large thud. Just as Bernadine finishes with Balthazar, Pasha bursts into the room. He instantly goes over to Balthazar who has become wan and pale. The two make amends just before Balthazar dies, his innocence and life brutally taken from him in an act of carnal terror. Pasha lashes out at Bernadine, strangling her. But, even as she chokes to death, Bernadine moans and writhes as if she and Pasha were making love. She ultimately dies, eking out a final noise that is at once part death rattle, part orgasmic climax. Pasha’s rage subsides only to be replaced by the dreadful realization that Sebastian and Marion’s lives might also be in danger. He dashes off back to the competition. Evelyn applauds Sebastian’s Herculean slap, just as Sebastian realizes that he has killed his brother. He cries and blames Evelyn, but Evelyn tells Sebastian that he is now a grown up and grown ups must face up to reality. Evelyn pulls out a gun and shoots Sebastian. Just before he dies, Sebastian asks Evelyn why he has murdered him. Evelyn rips off his mask and reveals to Sebastian that he has killed them all as revenge for the boys’ part in disfiguring his face. Sebastian informs Evelyn that his face is beautiful and then dies. Evelyn takes out a mirror and sees that Sebastian was right: his face is not disfigured after all. At that moment Pasha bursts into the room, looks to the dead Sebastian and Marion, and lashes out at Evelyn. Embarrassed over the misunderstanding, Evelyn apologizes to Pasha just as Bernadine, bruised and beaten yet still alive, bursts into the room holding Balthazar’s corpse. Pasha, filled with rage, charges Bernadine, intent on finishing the job he started earlier. Bernadine throws down Balthazar’s body and stabs Pasha. He passes out as Bernadine stumbles over to Evelyn and tries to kiss him. Evelyn, disgusted by Bernadine’s battered appearance, shoots her dead. He then admires his beautiful face in his mirror again where, upon closer inspection, notices a wrinkle under his eye and instantly tries to rub it away. But when the wrinkle fails to fade, Evelyn hangs himself to death. Later, Pasha awakens in Flavian’s arms, takes in the death around him, and cries. Flavian accuses Pasha of letting the boys die. Pasha dies, part from the stab wound, part from shame. Flavian sheds a solitary tear over the loss of the most boyish boy princes who ever lived.