Homer Splivens was a Loud Noise among the boys, but with the girls he was the dampest bomb that ever dropped from an airship. He seldom went to see a girl, but it wasn’t his fault, they refused to make dates with him. Finally he saw Lucy Livingston and fell for her. He didn’t have the nerve to ask to call on her, although he was just dying to. He read the lives of all the lady killers to see how they got away with it, then called on Lucy. He tried to tell her his love but he flattened out like a dying welsh rarebit. He then decided to study the actions of the more modern wooers like the movie idol, Francis X. Bushman. He also had an interview with Jack Thompson, who was an awful hit with women. The next expedition for the capture of Lucy started out with flying colors. He forgot what Jack Thompson said about faint heart never copping out fair lady, so switched to the Bushman system. Just then father entered the room and Homer couldn’t be seen for dust. Moral: It has to be done in just a certain way.