John Dolen is a wholesome, and credulous young man who is moving to London in order to resolve his quarterlife crisis. Only today, John has learned that a certain married woman may be pregnant with his child. Thinking this may be fate, he calls upon the assistance of his two steadfast roommates; Paul, a reformed womanizer who yearns for true love but cannot overcome his fear of commitment, and Rob, a pot-smoking entrepreneurial slob who has devoted his life to revealing the atrocities set forth by corporate manipulation, and more importantly, to safeguard the existence of one very special couch. Time, and youth are of the essence as this unsettled trio must move out of their apartment while confronting their afflictions with love, lust, pregnancy, couches, wiffleball, ex-mobsters, corporate propaganda, four year theories, gazelles, transsexuals, metrosexuals, a shoddy landlord, the universal diner, and… a Monte Cristo.