“Love me, love my dog,” seems to be the motto of the young wife and of her mother. Newlywed is disgusted when he sees the affection dissipated on the dog. They smother it with kisses, give it the best seat at the table, and make the servants dance attendance on it. The last straw is added when Newlywed’s wife and mother-in-law object to serving his breakfast before the dog is seated. They pay no attention to him as head of the house, and patience ceasing to be a virtue, he seizes the canine and throws it out of the room, to the horror of Mrs. Newlywed and her mother. They berate him soundly and restore the pet of the household to their bosoms. Newlywed is frantic. He grabs his hat and packing his valise departs for more congenial and natural surroundings. Taking to the woods, he locates himself on a far-off ranch with a family of Texas pioneers whose domestic relations are brightened and enlivened by real children, with whom Mr. Newlywed becomes a general favorite, and amongst them he enjoys a season of rest right next to nature and natural home life. After he has been in his retreat a few weeks he receives a letter announcing the birth of their first born, Delighted, he dances about with uncontrollable joy. Rushing into the house, he gets his belongings, jumps on his horse, and makes a break for the railroad station, where he is met by a “bunch” of his “cowboy” chums, who give him a parting salute as he boards the train for home to clasp his son and heir in a fatherly embrace. When he reaches his home city he calls a taxicab and stops at the stores, buying toys and trinkets regardless of “cost, rhyme or reason.” He is possessed with ecstatic spasms of great happiness. Encountering all sorts of obstacles and hindrances, he reaches his home laden with presents, and bursts in upon his family, who silence his noisy demonstrations of parental pride, pointing to the nurse who is bending solicitously over the sleeping infant. Newlywed tiptoes over to have a look at his first born. The nurse lifts the cover, and behold! the “doggoned” pet has blessed the household with a puppy, a son. “Gee whizz!!!” (Worse, and more of it.) Newlywed drops helplessly to the floor.