Approved | 1h 22min | Comedy | 14 April 1939 (USA)
Bob Hope is being stalked by a predatory widow who is a widow of wealthy husbands many times over. Martha Raye is a Texan heiress who wants to marry her boyfriend Andy Devine, but her father is determined that she marry into royalty. To solve both their problems, Martha Raye and Bob Hope decide to marry, but will they ever find love together?
Director: Elliott Nugent
Writers: Don Hartman, Frank Butler, Preston Sturges, William H. Post
Stars: Martha Raye, Bob Hope, Andy Devine
Bob Hope is being stalked by a predatory widow who is a widow of wealthy husbands many times over. Martha Raye is a Texan heiress who wants to marry her boyfriend Andy Devine, but her father is determined that she marry into royalty. To solve both their problems, Martha Raye and Bob Hope decide to marry, but will they ever find love together?
Director: Elliott Nugent
Writers: Don Hartman, Frank Butler, Preston Sturges, William H. Post
Stars: Martha Raye, Bob Hope, Andy Devine
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
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00:16:20If I may say so, sir, I don't think you put up much of a fight.
00:16:23Jeepers, you talk like a fool.
00:16:25Have you ever seen Mrs. Marco at target practice?
00:16:28Why, she can shoot the head off a pin at 100 yards.
00:16:31Didn't you tell her, sir, that you only had 30 days to live?
00:16:35Yeah, that was my fatal mistake.
00:16:37Three minutes after I told her, she had me signing in a lot of dotted lines.
00:16:41I'll, uh, fix it with flowers, and it will look beautiful.
00:16:44All right. Now, uh, what about the time?
00:16:46I can push you in and your gentleman at 3.30.
00:16:49Oh, couldn't you make it at 4 o'clock?
00:16:51Marrying in a half hour has been unlucky for me.
00:16:53No, impossible. At 4 o'clock, I marry His Highness Prince Smirnoff to a young lady from Texas.
00:16:57That's where the cows come from.
00:16:59Very well. Mr. Kidley and I will be here at 3.30.
00:17:04They say cremation's awfully nice, sir.
00:17:06Jeepers!
00:17:07Just trying to be helpful, sir.
00:17:08Well, stop it. Have you got a cigar?
00:17:10Yes, indeed, sir.
00:17:11Shall I smoke it for you?
00:17:13No, I'll smoke it myself. What's, what does it matter now?
00:17:16That's a spirit, sir. As the poet says, come fill the cup for the birds on the wing.
00:17:22That's good.
00:17:23I'm just beginning to realize what a swell old world this is now that I've only got 30 days.
00:17:2729 now, sir.
00:17:31Jeepers, I've got to do something about my money.
00:17:33If I leave it to Mrs. Marcos, she'll use it to start a war.
00:17:36I'm telling you, you'll do like I say. You'll marry Smirnoff if I have the heart.
00:17:40No, I won't.
00:17:41Just exactly as I say.
00:17:42No!
00:17:44Look out!
00:17:47Well, well.
00:17:52Well, I don't blame her.
00:17:56Whatever it is, he's wrong.
00:17:59Home, Jeepers.
00:18:00Yes, sir.
00:18:04I won't.
00:18:05Mighty proud to be his wife. That's what you ought to be, mighty proud.
00:18:08Why, Smirnoff's folks goes back 40 generations.
00:18:11Well, why don't he go back with them?
00:18:14Don't do this, and don't do that. Don't wear this, don't wear that.
00:18:18Trying to make a lady out of me.
00:18:20Always licking my hand like a St. Bernard dog.
00:18:23Well, I'm not going to let him do that.
00:18:25I'm not going to let him do that.
00:18:27I'm not going to let him do that.
00:18:29I'm not going to let him do that.
00:18:31Licking my hand like a St. Bernard dog.
00:18:34Oh, I hate him.
00:18:35Oh, we didn't traipse all the way from Eagle Heights, Texas to bad gas washer.
00:18:39Just so's you could back out now.
00:18:42But, Pa.
00:18:44I love Henry Munch.
00:18:49Oh, Henny Penny.
00:18:51They're trying to pull us apart.
00:18:55Oh, Henny coochie woochie.
00:18:57Ah, coochie woochie woochie.
00:18:59Munch's a nutty old bus driver.
00:19:01From Eagle Heights to Silver Falls.
00:19:04I don't care. I love him just the same.
00:19:06That smurf lost nothing but a dressed up coyote.
00:19:09Dressed or undressed, you're marrying him at four o'clock.
00:19:12Well, Henry was good enough. We were nothing but poor scrub farmers.
00:19:15And ever since we struck oil and got to wearing shoes,
00:19:18you've been getting mighty nose high, Pa.
00:19:20You're going back home a princess.
00:19:22Just like I told them.
00:19:24By hooky, they'll let me into country club and everything then.
00:19:27I'll show them that Munch was always looking down on me.
00:19:30If you could only patch up a man as easily as you can a bicycle tire.
00:19:42Imagine me laughing in my condition.
00:19:44You're going through with it and that's my final say.
00:19:47I won't. I won't. I won't. I won't. I won't.
00:19:50I'll run away.
00:19:52I'll do something desperate.
00:19:58Hey! Jeepers! That girl!
00:20:01Mr. Kiddly! No!
00:20:06Help!
00:20:08Help! Help!
00:20:10What?
00:20:12Careful!
00:20:16Why, you...
00:20:22I'm sorry.
00:20:25Ow!
00:20:28Careful!
00:20:30Oh, Miss Pleats!
00:20:32Austin!
00:20:34Take it easy!
00:20:38Let me, sir! Let me, please!
00:20:40Oh, darn fool!
00:20:42Darn fool!
00:20:54Oh! Oh!
00:20:56Get her! Save her! Get her!
00:20:58Wait a minute! Wait! Are you all right?
00:21:00Oh! Oh!
00:21:02Oh! Oh, say!
00:21:04Oh, thanks. You saved my life.
00:21:06Why did you do it? Why didn't you let me alone?
00:21:09You can't even swim!
00:21:11Well, apart from his morning tummies, he's never been in the water in his life.
00:21:14Well, then why did you do it?
00:21:16Oh, it was marvelous. I mean, wonderful, but...
00:21:19Oh, but why did you do it?
00:21:22Well, you see, I...
00:21:24Any man would have done the same.
00:21:26I couldn't get the inner tube off my neck, sir.
00:21:28Look. Look, you.
00:21:30You, don't you ever do anything like that,
00:21:32no matter what your troubles are.
00:21:34This world's a pretty nice place to live in.
00:21:36Think of the sunshine and the bees and the butterflies and the breeze and the...
00:21:40What's that thing about the cup?
00:21:42Come, fill the cup. The bird's on the wing.
00:21:44Yeah, you see, the bird's on the wing.
00:21:46What bird?
00:21:48What bird, Jeepers? Just a figure of speech, sir.
00:21:50Come along, sir. We mustn't precipitate your demise.
00:21:52Pneumonia?
00:21:54Come on, you're liable to catch your death of cold if you...
00:21:56Or me.
00:22:03I just wish you knew my Henry.
00:22:05He's so big and strong and... and cute.
00:22:08Why, he'd do anything for me.
00:22:10You know, when we were kids, he...
00:22:12He ate a beetle.
00:22:14Just because I asked him to.
00:22:16Sounds like a handy fellow to have around the garden.
00:22:19Yeah, but that's all over with now.
00:22:21At 4 o'clock, I've got to marry Smirnoff.
00:22:24Yeah, but this is 1939.
00:22:26You don't have to go around jumping off bridges.
00:22:28You don't know pa.
00:22:31But what are my troubles compared to yours?
00:22:33I mean, you being a human dog and everything.
00:22:36Yeah. Aciditous canis.
00:22:39You know, while we're sitting here, Mickey, you know what I'm doing?
00:22:42I'm digesting myself.
00:22:44Bones and all.
00:22:46I'm getting smaller and smaller.
00:22:48First a pygmy, then a radiator ornament,
00:22:51then a watch charm, and finally...
00:22:54Just a memory.
00:22:56I'm the last of the vanishing Americans.
00:22:58Oh, I feel so sorry for you, Mr. Kidney.
00:23:00Oh, thanks, Mickey. Nobody else cares.
00:23:03Why, even the hotel people ask me to move.
00:23:05Afraid I might give the hotel a bad name.
00:23:08Told me to go to some other place and die.
00:23:11Oh, I wouldn't be afraid of them.
00:23:13I'd... I'd do it right here in this room if I wanted to.
00:23:16Oh, gee, you're a nice girl, Mickey.
00:23:18I like you. And I like Henry, too.
00:23:21You do?
00:23:23Jeepers? Yes, sir?
00:23:24Another glass. Another glass.
00:23:26For you. Oh, thank you, sir.
00:23:28Let's drink to Henry.
00:23:30Munch? Munch.
00:23:32Munch.
00:23:36That couldn't be Pa, could it?
00:23:38The Kidley Suite?
00:23:40Who is it? It's the Arch O'Mea.
00:23:42Holy mackerel. I forgot all about her.
00:23:44What does she want?
00:23:46It's about your nuptial, sir. She wants to know if you're dressed.
00:23:49Tell her no. Tell her anything.
00:23:51Tell her I'm not dressed, not even in my socks.
00:23:53You see, Mrs. Marko, Mr. Kidley is a little delayed.
00:23:57No, not decayed, madam. Delayed.
00:24:00And I want him to be ready for the ceremony.
00:24:02What's she say? What's she say?
00:24:04She says you better be ready darn soon, sir.
00:24:06And I didn't like the way she said it.
00:24:08Jeepers, Jeepers, do something. Think of something.
00:24:11What's the matter? What's the matter?
00:24:13She, Mrs. Marko, she shoots her husband.
00:24:15She pushes him off mountains.
00:24:17And I've got to marry her at 3.30.
00:24:21But you don't have to marry her, do you?
00:24:23I don't, huh? She's the Olympic pistol champion.
00:24:25I can't get out of this any more than you can.
00:24:27I mean, we're in the same fix.
00:24:29Why didn't you let me stay in the water?
00:24:31I was just beginning to do all right.
00:24:33All she wants is my money. She's my Smirnoff.
00:24:36Hey, wait a minute. There's an out.
00:24:38There's an out for both of us.
00:24:40You mean we should hold hands and jump back into the...
00:24:42No, no. Now, listen. Now, listen carefully, Mickey.
00:24:44We only have a few minutes. How would you like to marry me?
00:24:46How would I... I... What?
00:24:48You've had too much of that spider juice, sir.
00:24:50No, I haven't. But I can't marry you.
00:24:52Yes, you can. Here, put this on.
00:24:54It throws everybody for a loss.
00:24:56It puts the prince behind the eight ball and the pistol champion in the side pocket.
00:24:59Yeah, but what about Henry?
00:25:01Well, that's it. I can die in peace,
00:25:03and as soon as I'm gone, you can marry Henry,
00:25:05and I'll leave him barrels of money.
00:25:07He can buy a thousand buses.
00:25:09Yeah, that's... I... Oh, but I don't love you.
00:25:11I mean, I don't even know you well.
00:25:13Good, you know.
00:25:15Well, I don't love you either. That makes it perfect.
00:25:17But why should you do all of this for me?
00:25:19Well, in the first place, I've never done anything for anybody.
00:25:21In the second place, it helps me, too.
00:25:23And in the third place, oh, well, I don't know.
00:25:25But...
00:25:27No, no buts. You leave everything to me.
00:25:29All right, I will.
00:25:31And I'll leave everything to you.
00:25:47Your Highness.
00:25:53Ah, gentlemen.
00:25:55Your Highness,
00:25:57I wouldn't have missed your wedding for the world.
00:25:59Gentlemen,
00:26:01you all know Kretzky.
00:26:03There he stands, an eloquent picture of his mission.
00:26:05The bulge in his right pocket, my unpaid notes.
00:26:07In his left pocket,
00:26:09my bad checks.
00:26:11The hollow in the middle is Kretzky.
00:26:13Your Highness has saved me words.
00:26:15Unless the bulge in my left pocket
00:26:17is made good
00:26:19immediately after the ceremony,
00:26:21Your Highness will have the opportunity
00:26:23of entertaining the police
00:26:25with his priceless humor.
00:26:27Kretzky, I intensely dislike you
00:26:29and your bloodhound continually sniffing at my heels.
00:26:31We are sniffing for 200,000
00:26:33Simelkas
00:26:35in bad checks.
00:26:37Kretzky, I have told you you will be paid
00:26:39when I get my dowry
00:26:41after the wedding.
00:26:47Oh, pardon me, Your Highness.
00:26:49I'm terribly sorry.
00:26:51I dearly ran over you.
00:26:53Pardon me, Your Highness.
00:26:55I will forgive you if you make me a good wedding.
00:26:57Excuse me, sir. Are you the mayor?
00:26:59What is it?
00:27:01Could I just speak to you for a moment, sir?
00:27:03Pardon me, Your Highness.
00:27:05What is it?
00:27:07There's a certain young party, sir.
00:27:09She wants to get married.
00:27:11A scullery maid, sir, and a butler in the same house.
00:27:13No, no. I can't do it.
00:27:15I'm afraid they'll elope unless we do something, sir.
00:27:17You know what with springtime and everything, Your Honor.
00:27:19I'd hate to lose them.
00:27:21But I have one wedding already at 3.30
00:27:23and another one at 4 o'clock.
00:27:25But it would only take a moment if Your Honor would just hit the high spots.
00:27:27No, no, no. I can't do it. I can't do it.
00:27:29Oh, no.
00:27:31If you can make it quick, bring him in the courtroom.
00:27:33But sneak him in the back way.
00:27:35If Your Highness will pardon me one second.
00:27:37Something very urgent came up.
00:27:39Excuse me, please, sir.
00:27:43A little kitchen romance.
00:27:45It should be amusing. Let us watch.
00:27:47Your head off, please.
00:27:49Right away, I marry you in the courtroom.
00:27:53Uh-uh.
00:27:55What?
00:27:57Here? No, no. Not in here.
00:27:59Here is for the certificate only.
00:28:01The marriage is in the courtroom, always.
00:28:05Can you write?
00:28:07Oui, oui, oui, oui.
00:28:09Si, senor.
00:28:11All right, then.
00:28:13Then write here your names, please.
00:28:15Right here.
00:28:39Oh, well, all right.
00:28:41Come on here. This way.
00:28:43The guests are waiting. Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up.
00:29:01Say yes. I do.
00:29:03Now you, don't let the people wait.
00:29:13He won't be late, will he?
00:29:15I beg pardon, ma'am?
00:29:17He won't be late, will he?
00:29:19Oh, no, ma'am. In a manner of speaking, he's already here.
00:29:23You will now join hands.
00:29:25Hold hands.
00:29:27Don't we kneel?
00:29:29If you want to kneel, kneel, ma'am.
00:29:33As evidence of this promise that you have made...
00:29:35Oh, no, you can't skip that.
00:29:37By virtue of the power invested in me
00:29:39and by virtue of solemn promise you have made
00:29:41to another, I hereby pronounce you to be man and wife.
00:29:43You can rise now. It's all over.
00:29:49The bride.
00:29:51Let us kiss the bride.
00:29:53Hey, wait!
00:29:55Come on, we will catch them outside.
00:29:57Come on, the prince is going to kiss the bride.
00:30:05Come, madame, you must pay the penalty.
00:30:07Max, help me, please.
00:30:09Oplah!
00:30:11Mickey!
00:30:13Mickey!
00:30:17Let her alone.
00:30:19So?
00:30:29Your Highness, are you all right?
00:30:31I'll hold them off, sir.
00:30:33John!
00:30:35John!
00:30:37John!
00:30:39I'll send you a postcard.
00:30:43Your Highness, wait for me.
00:30:49Take me with you.
00:30:51Me too.
00:30:53She's my daughter.
00:31:07Mickey, where are you?
00:31:09Who is it?
00:31:11It's me.
00:31:13Henry!
00:31:15Well, what in the name of all get out of you doing here?
00:31:17Well, I came over on a cattle boat.
00:31:19I didn't get much sleep, though, on account of all the moving.
00:31:21Oh, Henry.
00:31:23Well, you ought to see the papers back home.
00:31:25They're just full of that stuff about you and that Prince Smirkoff fella.
00:31:27Oh, Henry.
00:31:29Well, nobody wants to know about it,
00:31:31but I'm going to tell you the truth.
00:31:33I'm going to tell you the truth.
00:31:35Oh, Henry.
00:31:37Well, nobody around here talks Texas,
00:31:39and I had an awful time finding you.
00:31:41But did I get here in time?
00:31:43Yes, yes, Henry. I didn't marry Smirnoff.
00:31:45Well, thank my lucky stars.
00:31:47I married Mr. Kidley.
00:31:49Who? Mr. Kid... Who's he?
00:31:51The bean man. I just met him.
00:31:53Oh, shucks.
00:31:55What'd you marry him for?
00:31:57Because I love you, Henry.
00:31:59Well, I may be just a country boy,
00:32:01but I can't figure that one out.
00:32:03Yeah, yeah.
00:32:05Yeah, I'll be right out. I'll be right out.
00:32:07I got to go, Henry.
00:32:09You got to go? Where are you going?
00:32:11I'm on my honeymoon. Your honeymoon?
00:32:13Yeah. I can't explain now, Henry.
00:32:15But we're going away someplace, and then Mr. Kidley's going to die.
00:32:17Well, what kind of talking is that?
00:32:19Oh, goodbye, Henry.
00:32:21Goodbye.
00:32:23Goodbye, Henry.
00:32:25Well, I didn't come over here just to say goodbye.
00:32:33Okay, let's go. Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute.
00:32:35Who's that? Oh, it's Henry.
00:32:37Isn't it wonderful? He's coming on our honeymoon.
00:32:39Oh. Huh?
00:32:41Oh, uh, Henry, this is my husband, Mr. Kidley.
00:32:43Oh, how do you do, Henry? Right now, I ain't doing so good.
00:33:03Yes, will you please come around this way?
00:33:19And sign on this line.
00:33:23Mr. and Mrs. John Kidley.
00:33:29And for your servant, we have something in the rear.
00:33:31Hi, dear servant.
00:33:33Oh, is that funny? He thought Henry was your servant.
00:33:35No, this is Mr. Henry Munch.
00:33:37The man Mrs. Kidley's going to marry.
00:33:39Oh, Mr. Munch. Mr. Engelbrecht.
00:33:41Personally welcome.
00:33:43Marry?
00:33:45What is?
00:33:47Mr. Munch is Mrs. Kidley's fiancé.
00:33:49Oh, Papa.
00:33:51Yes, quiet, Mama.
00:33:53That is not our business.
00:33:55Julius, bring upstairs the bags.
00:33:57Come on, honey.
00:33:59Well, thank you not to call her honey.
00:34:01You understand?
00:34:03Why, Henry.
00:34:05Oh, isn't that sweet, Mr. Kidley? Henry's jealous.
00:34:07Cuckoo, darling.
00:34:09There's something funny up.
00:34:11Oh, Mama, those Americans are always joking.
00:34:21Oh, Henry, that moon.
00:34:25Look at the moon.
00:34:27Yeah, it's big.
00:34:29And those mountains.
00:34:31Yeah, kind of high.
00:34:33No, Henry.
00:34:35It's more than that.
00:34:37Well, look at them.
00:34:39Well, we got a mountain in Texas.
00:34:41But, Henry.
00:34:43This place.
00:34:45This night.
00:34:47The smell of lilac.
00:34:51And you sit there whittling on a hunk of wood.
00:34:53Well, what should I be whittling on?
00:34:55Well, gee, Henry.
00:34:57This is the first time we've ever been alone together.
00:34:59I mean, away from Pa.
00:35:01Put your arm around me, Henry.
00:35:03Please.
00:35:05Now, kiss me.
00:35:13Henry, that's no way to do it.
00:35:15I mean, kiss me as if you liked it.
00:35:17As if you meant it.
00:35:19Oh, I can't do it. My heart ain't in it.
00:35:21Why not?
00:35:23I can't get it out of my mind that I'm...
00:35:25Well, that I'm kissing somebody else's wife.
00:35:27Makes me feel like one of them playboys.
00:35:41Hey, Henry.
00:35:43Can you still imitate a horse?
00:35:45Oh, I guess I could if I tried.
00:35:47Go on. Do it. Go on.
00:35:49Oh, no. That's kid stuff.
00:35:51Yes, please.
00:35:53Well, all right. Just once.
00:35:55Whee!
00:35:59Whee!
00:36:05Go on. Do it again, Henry.
00:36:07Whee!
00:36:11Look, Mama.
00:36:13The moon out and everything and he makes like a horse.
00:36:15Oh.
00:36:17Oh, Mickey.
00:36:19Oh, pardon me. I didn't mean to.
00:36:21I just came out.
00:36:23I thought it's about time for me to kick off.
00:36:25What?
00:36:27I mean, turn in. Go to bed.
00:36:29Oh.
00:36:31Good night, Mickey. Good night, Henry.
00:36:33Good night.
00:36:35Oh, Mr. Kidley, wait a minute. I'm coming right in.
00:36:37Good night, Henry, and I'll see you in the morning.
00:36:39Good night.
00:36:41You'll see me in the... Hey, you!
00:36:43I'll tuck you in, huh?
00:36:45Oh, thank you.
00:36:47It's all right. I want you to feel nice and comfortable.
00:36:49It's full of feathers.
00:36:51Oh, yeah?
00:36:53Hey!
00:36:55Oh, Henry, doesn't Mr. Kidley look cute in his pajamas?
00:36:57Oh, yeah, but...
00:36:59He looks so cute.
00:37:03Mr. Kidley, we gotta have a talk.
00:37:05All right, Henry, we'll talk in the morning.
00:37:07You've had a hard day, huh?
00:37:09Well, in the morning won't do, Mr. Kidley.
00:37:11Well, what is it?
00:37:13What is it? Well, I ain't happy.
00:37:15Why, Henry, just a minute ago you were swell
00:37:17when you were acting like a horse.
00:37:19Well, I ain't the beating-around-the-bush kind of a guy.
00:37:21If I got anything on my mind, I spit it out.
00:37:23Now, Henry, don't be that way.
00:37:25Mr. Kidley hasn't long to be with us.
00:37:27He hasn't long to be with us.
00:37:29And it's our duty to see that he's happy and...
00:37:31Happy?
00:37:33Well, what difference does it make to you
00:37:35whether he's happy or not?
00:37:37Well, after all, Henry, I am Mrs. Kidley.
00:37:39Oh.
00:37:41And I always say that a wise place is in the home.
00:37:43Listen.
00:37:45Oh, Henry, you don't have to worry about me.
00:37:47Why, one of these mornings you'll wake up and...
00:37:49I'll be gone.
00:37:51Mr. Kidley,
00:37:53I've been watching you mighty close here a late,
00:37:55and all I got to say is that,
00:37:57well, you ain't been living up to your promise.
00:37:59You ain't getting any smaller.
00:38:09Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
00:38:11Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
00:38:13Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
00:38:15How's that?
00:38:17Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
00:38:19Oh, come here.
00:38:21Good morning.
00:38:23Good morning.
00:38:25Well, Mama Engelborg has
00:38:27gefixed the breakfast herself.
00:38:29Oh, that's fine. Hey, breakfast.
00:38:31Yes, a very special breakfast
00:38:33for our two little double flopses.
00:38:35Well, that's very nice of Mama,
00:38:37Mr. Engelborg.
00:38:39It sure is.
00:38:47What sticks in my craw is
00:38:49everything he says is so wonderful,
00:38:51but everything I say, it's,
00:38:53oh, Henry, oh, Henry, oh, Henry.
00:38:55Now, Henry, don't talk that way about Mr. Kidley.
00:38:57Oh, shucks.
00:38:59Look at him.
00:39:01He's getting that flower just for me,
00:39:03risking his life.
00:39:13I got it.
00:39:15Careful, careful.
00:39:17Oh, that ain't nothing.
00:39:19I'd take a chance of breaking my neck, too,
00:39:21if I knew I was gonna die anyway.
00:39:23Gee, thanks.
00:39:25Oh.
00:39:27Well, there it is.
00:39:29Oh, thanks, Mr. Kidley.
00:39:31For you. In the words of the poet,
00:39:33you are like a flower.
00:39:35Oh, Mr. Kidley, that's so sweet.
00:39:37That's just like in the movies.
00:39:39Yeah. Well, there was a wrestle
00:39:41with me at the moment.
00:39:43Let me help you, Mr. Kidley. You must be a little tired.
00:39:45Let's sit down and rest a minute, huh?
00:39:47Yeah. Huh?
00:39:51Well, I guess I'll run along to the hotel.
00:39:53You and Henry want to be alone.
00:39:55What for? The minute you do, you'll start whittling.
00:39:57Oh, that's fine talk. A fella can whittle
00:39:59and still be in love, I guess.
00:40:01You don't have to go around shouting that poetry muck all day.
00:40:03Oh, Henry, that's where you're wrong.
00:40:05Women are romantic, sentimental.
00:40:07It's up to us men to humor them, say pretty things.
00:40:09Oh, I suppose you could give me a lesson.
00:40:11Oh, I bet you'd be good at it, too.
00:40:13Well, I have kind of been around.
00:40:15Frankly, Henry, I think you could use a few lessons.
00:40:17For instance? Well, for a starter,
00:40:19now supposing you were going to take a girl in your arms.
00:40:21Now you hold her tenderly, gently.
00:40:23Yeah, Henry, you handle me as if I was a boss.
00:40:25Oh, bosh.
00:40:27Now watch, Henry. Now supposing I'm you.
00:40:29Now you hold her like this, and then you kiss her.
00:40:31Oh.
00:40:35You see, Henry?
00:40:37Uh-uh. No?
00:40:39No. Well, show him again, Mr. Kidney.
00:40:41All right. Wait a minute.
00:40:47Oh, pardon me.
00:40:49There.
00:40:51Now you do it, Henry.
00:40:53Now I'll sit here and watch.
00:40:55No, sir. I don't have to kiss my girl
00:40:57in front of a whole crowd of people.
00:40:59Well, it's only Mr. Kidney, Henry.
00:41:01No. Oh, come on, please.
00:41:03Oh, well, all right.
00:41:09Uh-uh.
00:41:11Oh, well, I can't get started.
00:41:13Maybe you haven't turned on your ignition.
00:41:15No.
00:41:17There.
00:41:19No, that's not it, Henry.
00:41:21Uh, would you show him again, please, Mr. Kidney?
00:41:23Oh, of course. Anything at all.
00:41:25There, hold that.
00:41:27Anytime you get the idea, Henry, just cut in.
00:41:31Well, I don't see that he's doing anything
00:41:33that I didn't do.
00:41:35Well, it's just something or other
00:41:37that I can't explain, Henry.
00:41:39When he does it, it's like a bunch of trained wildcats.
00:41:41But when he does it, it's like a bunch of trained wildcats.
00:41:43But when he does it, it's like a bunch of trained wildcats.
00:41:45But when you do it, it's more like, uh...
00:41:47wild mice, yeah.
00:41:49Oh, well, I watched him close,
00:41:51and I did everything that he did.
00:41:53And I'll bet you if you had your eyes closed,
00:41:55you couldn't tell us apart.
00:41:57All right, Henry, I'll prove it to you.
00:41:59Somebody give me a hanky.
00:42:01You got a hanky?
00:42:03Oh, yes, I have one here.
00:42:05No, her, her, her.
00:42:07Oh, pardon me, pardon me.
00:42:09All right, now, I'll tie this tight.
00:42:11Now, you come around and start, Mr. Kidney.
00:42:13All right.
00:42:15And the both of you step back now.
00:42:17And you sneak up one at a time and kiss me,
00:42:19and I'll tell you just who it is.
00:42:21All right, step back. Go on, go on, go on.
00:42:27Well, don't go away.
00:42:29Okay.
00:42:31Now, I'll count up to ten,
00:42:33and then one of you come up and kiss me.
00:42:35All right.
00:42:37One, two,
00:42:39three,
00:42:41four,
00:42:43five,
00:42:45six,
00:42:47seven, eight,
00:42:49nine, ten.
00:42:51You ready?
00:42:53Well, come on.
00:42:59That's Henry.
00:43:01That's Mr. Kidney.
00:43:05Ready again.
00:43:07That's Henry.
00:43:11That's Mr. Kidney.
00:43:15That's Henry,
00:43:17still handing me like I was a bus.
00:43:23Why, Henry, how dare you take your shirt off?
00:43:25I...
00:43:31Mr. Kidney!
00:43:33Henry!
00:43:47Yes, sir. I can leave immediately, sir.
00:43:49Just a minute, sir. I'll write it down.
00:43:53Ingleborg House.
00:43:59Ingleborg.
00:44:01Ingleborg.
00:44:03I've got it, sir.
00:44:05Forgive the liberty, sir,
00:44:07but, uh,
00:44:09how is everything?
00:44:11Oh.
00:44:13Oh?
00:44:15No?
00:44:17Oh.
00:44:19Well, don't forget, sir, the bird on the wing
00:44:21and all that, sir.
00:44:23No, sir, no one but Dr. Schmidt.
00:44:25He's been bothering me quite a bit.
00:44:27Oh, he wants to know if, when it happens,
00:44:29he can have your stomach.
00:44:31Wants to put it in a bottle or something.
00:44:33Yes, I told him I'd have to ask you first, sir.
00:44:37Don't worry, sir, I'll travel incognito.
00:44:39Oh, Mrs. Marko found her car, sir,
00:44:41just where you abandoned it.
00:44:45Oh, no, sir, not a soul knows of your whereabouts.
00:44:49But I've got it.
00:44:51Ingleborg House.
00:44:53At last I have got it.
00:44:55Ingleborg House.
00:44:57Where's that?
00:44:59Ingleborg.
00:45:01Thank you, dear. Come on, let's go. Hurry.
00:45:17Hey, don't you think it's about time we ought to go to bed?
00:45:19Huh?
00:45:21Oh.
00:45:23Oh.
00:45:27Hey, hey.
00:45:53Hey, hey.
00:46:23Now, Mickey.
00:46:31Now, Mickey.
00:46:53Hey!
00:46:55Now, see here...
00:46:57Shh!
00:47:23Now, see here...
00:47:25Now, see here...
00:47:27Now, see here...
00:47:29Now, see here...
00:47:31Now, see here...
00:47:33Now, see here...
00:47:35Now, see here...
00:47:37Now, see here...
00:47:39Now, see here...
00:47:41Now, see here...
00:47:43Now, see here...
00:47:45Now, see here...
00:47:47Now, see here...
00:47:49Now, see here...
00:47:51Now, see here...
00:47:53Now, see here...
00:47:55Now, see here...
00:48:17Hey!
00:48:19Mr. Kidley, what do you mean by traipsing around with my girl past one o'clock in the
00:48:29morning?
00:48:30Oh, we never had such a time, Henry.
00:48:31We went to a cheese festival.
00:48:32Yeah, we had wine.
00:48:33And singing.
00:48:34And cheese.
00:48:35Cheese festival?
00:48:36Well, that ain't cheese, Mr. Kidley.
00:48:38Oh, that.
00:48:39Well, you see, we stopped.
00:48:40Oh, yeah, Henry.
00:48:41We stopped, and just now when I was singing a song, I gave him a little, well, you were
00:48:46right there.
00:48:47I mean...
00:48:49Mickey, hush.
00:48:50I've heard enough.
00:48:51Now, you run right along upstairs to bed.
00:48:52Mickey?
00:48:53But I...
00:48:54Mickey?
00:48:55But I...
00:48:56Henry, you can't order your wife around like that.
00:48:59Oh, I can't, huh?
00:49:00Well, she ain't my wife.
00:49:01She's your wife.
00:49:02Oh.
00:49:03Oh, yeah.
00:49:04Say, thanks for reminding me.
00:49:06Mickey, go to bed.
00:49:07Oh, Mickey?
00:49:08Good night, boys.
00:49:09Good night.
00:49:10Good night, Mickey.
00:49:11Well, I guess that's all, man.
00:49:12Here you are.
00:49:13Thanks.
00:49:14It was a lot of fun.
00:49:15We'll get Mrs. Kidley and do it again sometime.
00:49:16Oh, no, you won't.
00:49:17Now that she's gone, I want to tell you, you're mighty fortunate I just don't tear you to
00:49:18pieces.
00:49:19Why, Henry...
00:49:20And with my bare hands.
00:49:21Excuse me, please.
00:49:22She must close.
00:49:23Well, close it.
00:49:24Hey, you, now, wait a minute.
00:49:25Oh, I was just going to...
00:49:26You're just going to listen to me.
00:49:27As long as we're in Engelberg, you're not getting out of my sight again.
00:49:28No, sir, not for two seconds.
00:49:29Oh, no.
00:49:30Oh, no.
00:49:31Oh, no.
00:49:32Oh, no.
00:49:33Oh, no.
00:49:34Oh, no.
00:49:35Oh, no.
00:49:36Oh, no.
00:49:37Oh, no.
00:49:38Oh, no.
00:49:39Oh, no.
00:49:40Oh, no.
00:49:41Oh, no.
00:49:42Oh, no.
00:49:43Oh, no.
00:49:44Oh, no.
00:49:45Oh, no.
00:49:46Oh, no.
00:49:47Oh, no.
00:49:48Oh, no.
00:49:49Oh, no.
00:49:50Oh, no.
00:49:51Oh, no.
00:49:52Oh, no.
00:49:53Oh, no.
00:49:54Oh, no.
00:49:55Oh, no.
00:49:56Oh, no.
00:49:57Oh, no.
00:49:58Oh, no.
00:49:59Oh, no.
00:50:00Oh, no.
00:50:01Oh, no.
00:50:02Oh, no.
00:50:03Oh, no.
00:50:04Oh, no.
00:50:05Oh, no.
00:50:06Oh, no.
00:50:07Oh, no.
00:50:08Oh, no.
00:50:09Oh, no.
00:50:10Oh, no.
00:50:11Oh, no.
00:50:12Oh, no.
00:50:13Oh, no.
00:50:14Oh, no.
00:50:15Oh, no.
00:50:16Oh, no.
00:50:17Oh, no.
00:50:18Oh, no.
00:50:19Oh, no.
00:50:20Oh, no.
00:50:21Oh, no.
00:50:22Oh, no.
00:50:23Oh, no.
00:50:24Oh, no.
00:50:25Oh, no.
00:50:26Oh, no.
00:50:27Oh, no.
00:50:28Oh, no.
00:50:29Oh, no.
00:50:30Oh, no.
00:50:31Oh, no.
00:50:32Oh, no.
00:50:33Oh, no.
00:50:34Oh, no.
00:50:35Oh, no.
00:50:36Oh, no.
00:50:37Oh, no.
00:50:38Oh, no.
00:50:39Oh, no.
00:50:40You don't tell me what's the matter with you.
00:50:41You don't trust me.
00:50:42That's what's the matter with you.
00:50:43You're darn tootin' I don't...
00:50:45No, I don't want any trouble with you.
00:50:47You get back here in bed.
00:50:49Aw, you and your old Whitlands.
00:50:54I'd rather sleep with a cracker eater.
00:50:56It's not comfortable.
00:50:59Oh no, wait a minute. Just a second. I have a little something to say about this.
00:51:21What are you doing? There, that'll fix that.
00:51:26Oh Henry, this is so unjust. Not so tight. Leave a little blood in there.
00:51:34My circulation is practically at a standstill now.
00:51:38Now hush.
00:52:08Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
00:52:39brbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrrrrrrh
00:52:45BrbrBr
00:52:48Brrrrrrrr
00:52:51Brrrrrrrrerr
00:52:56Brhhh
00:52:59Buuurrrrrrrr
00:53:02BBRBRBRBRBR
00:53:04VR!"
00:53:05cl couldn't be a fail
00:53:08Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:53:20Good night.
00:53:21Good night.
00:53:24Now, I'm gonna put my foot on top of yours.
00:53:28And don't you move once the rest of the night.
00:53:39Hello.
00:53:40Hey, Julius.
00:53:43Would you like to make five bucks, fifty some elkas?
00:53:46Well, what do I have to do for...
00:53:48Shh.
00:53:49Take off your shoe. I want to use your foot.
00:53:52My feet?
00:53:53Foot.
00:53:54Come on.
00:54:08Meow.
00:54:16Meow.
00:54:23Meow.
00:54:25Meow.
00:54:28Meow.
00:54:33Meow.
00:54:38Meow.
00:54:50Meow.
00:55:01Honey.
00:55:02You're not asleep, are you?
00:55:05Honey.
00:55:07I've got to talk to you.
00:55:09Maybe I've got no right, but...
00:55:11after tonight, well, no matter who gets hurt...
00:55:14we've got to face it. We belong to each other.
00:55:17Honey, please talk to me.
00:55:20You see, Mickey?
00:55:22I...
00:55:23Gee, you look tired.
00:55:24I get...
00:55:29Listen to Mama.
00:55:31Come on.
00:55:34Mr. Kidley.
00:55:36Police.
00:55:37Well, I...
00:55:38I...
00:55:39I was...
00:55:40And...
00:55:41I was...
00:55:45Wrong room, I guess.
00:56:00You...
00:56:12You...
00:56:18Quiet.
00:56:19Quiet.
00:56:20Quiet, everybody.
00:56:21Now, you all got to stop picking on Mr. Kidley.
00:56:24It's like he's been trying to tell you...
00:56:26he's sitting here digesting himself.
00:56:29And if you don't stop screaming at him...
00:56:31it's liable to happen right here.
00:56:33And then you'll be sorry.
00:56:34I don't care.
00:56:35I don't care if he's digesting his entire family.
00:56:38I am insulted.
00:56:39I am the one that is being squeezed.
00:56:41Right under my nose, on my own wedding day...
00:56:44she marries this gentleman in the red pajamas.
00:56:46Then when he goes hoot...
00:56:48she marries this gentleman in the striped pajamas.
00:56:51And where am I?
00:56:52I am standing around with egg on my face.
00:56:56And if he has egg on his face...
00:56:58somebody's tossed a whole omelet on mine.
00:57:00I don't like it.
00:57:02Oh, but Mr. Kidley doesn't love you.
00:57:04Why, look what he did.
00:57:05Rather than marry you, he...
00:57:06he married me.
00:57:08Yeah, that's the part of this whole thing that burns me up.
00:57:11Mr. Kidley, what I want to know is...
00:57:13what are you going to do about this mess you got us into?
00:57:16Yeah.
00:57:17Well, it's all very simple.
00:57:19You're all taken care of in my will.
00:57:21Household.
00:57:22Henry, I'm not going to waste a lot of time...
00:57:24telling you how much I admire you, because I don't.
00:57:26But I'm going to leave you enough money to choke a horse.
00:57:29And I hope it does choke you.
00:57:31Mr. Kidley, I resent that.
00:57:33We are now back at the front from where we started.
00:57:35I'm still with egg over my face.
00:57:37I know. I'm wiping that off in paragraph three.
00:57:39I know marriage with you is a business proposition...
00:57:41and I've ruined your business, so I'm prepared to marry you.
00:57:44I mean, pay you off in full.
00:57:48Mr. Kidley...
00:57:50Prince Alexis Cassandra Michelle Smirnoff thanks you.
00:57:55I do not wish to talk like a peasant...
00:57:57but there is something that I must know.
00:57:59Tell me, how soon do you expect to go...
00:58:02Poor Mr. Kidley, he's only 18 days left.
00:58:04Haven't you, poor Mr. Kidley?
00:58:06Yes, any time now.
00:58:07Good.
00:58:08What do you mean, good?
00:58:09Oh, John, dear.
00:58:10There's a little thing known as breach of promise...
00:58:12so you won't mind if I send my lawyers to see you, will you, dear?
00:58:14Oh, that won't be necessary.
00:58:15I've taken care of that in paragraph six.
00:58:17You can go right out and buy yourself a nice solid gold shooting gallery.
00:58:20Oh, John.
00:58:22I'm sentimentally touched.
00:58:24I'll see that they put flowers on you every Father's Day.
00:58:26Yes.
00:58:27She probably gets them wholesale.
00:58:28Well, what I want to know is...
00:58:30Oh, shut up, Henry.
00:58:31Mr. Kidley, I guess this just about takes care of everything.
00:58:34Yes.
00:58:35Now, folks, let's get out of here and leave the two honeymooners alone.
00:58:37Come on, Henry.
00:58:38Well, I'm one of the honeymooners.
00:58:39Oh, shut up and get out of here.
00:58:41Well, all of my clothes are...
00:58:44Mr. Kidley...
00:58:46you have promised me to die.
00:58:48I am warning you that I will be around personally...
00:58:51to see that you do it.
00:59:00Henry.
00:59:02I may call you Henry, mayn't I?
00:59:04Yes, ma'am, and I'll call you Mrs. Markle.
00:59:07Well, Henry, when Mr. Kidley...
00:59:10I mean, when it happens...
00:59:11you'll come into quite a tidy sum, won't you, Henry?
00:59:14Yes, ma'am, I guess I will.
00:59:17Oh, dear, Henry.
00:59:18I want you and Mrs. Kidley to be very happy.
00:59:21And if things don't work out...
00:59:22it may make it easier for you to know...
00:59:24that there'll always be someone waiting for you.
00:59:27There will?
00:59:29Oh.
00:59:30You're a very attractive man, Henry.
00:59:33I mustn't say any more than that right now.
00:59:36Well, you're kind of pretty yourself, Mrs. Markle.
00:59:39That's sweet of you.
00:59:42Henry, if you don't mind my suggesting it...
00:59:44I could have my lawyers.
00:59:45They're very good.
00:59:46Go over Mr. Kidley's will.
00:59:48I'm just watching out for your interests.
00:59:50Well, doggone it, ma'am, and me just meeting you.
00:59:53That sure is kind.
00:59:55Mighty kind.
01:00:03Good morning, ma'am.
01:00:04Good morning, sir.
01:00:05Oh, good morning, jeepers.
01:00:06Your mail, sir, from Bad Gas Fossil.
01:00:08Yeah, just throw it away, jeepers.
01:00:10Oh, but, sir, there may be something important.
01:00:12Nothing is important, jeepers, but living.
01:00:14That's the spirit, sir.
01:00:16I noticed a change in you the moment I arrived.
01:00:18Yes, you can thank Mickey for that.
01:00:20Thank you, Mickey.
01:00:21Mrs. Kidley.
01:00:22Okay, jeepers.
01:00:23Yes, sir, if I may say so.
01:00:25You're bubbling over, sir, just bubbling over.
01:00:27That's the coffee, jeepers.
01:00:29Uh, jeepers, will you order some more heavy cream?
01:00:34Very good, sir.
01:00:35One day in springtime
01:00:38The love dream came true
01:00:41Mr. Kidley, isn't there something that you get a great big kick out of doing?
01:00:46I mean, there's not much time before you D.I.E.
01:00:51And I just want you to remember these last few days as long as you live.
01:00:56Well, there's one.
01:00:58Let's see.
01:00:59Do you mind if I write on this? It's from that druggist.
01:01:01What druggist?
01:01:02You know him, Bad Gas Wasser.
01:01:04He probably wants to sell me something.
01:01:06Kipper, a dog.
01:01:07Yeah, yeah, he wants to sell you a dog.
01:01:09Say, that's pretty hairdo.
01:01:13Well, we're going to figure out right now what to do with your last 18 days.
01:01:18Uh, have you ever seen The Sphinx?
01:01:21No, is it good?
01:01:22Well, we're going to see it.
01:01:23We, Henry too?
01:01:25No, we don't want him around our Sphinx.
01:01:27He'll only start whittling on it.
01:01:29Sphinx, one day.
01:01:33What's he so sorry about?
01:01:35What's who what?
01:01:36This druggist.
01:01:37Gee, he sure is sorry.
01:01:39And your acidity test mixed with a dog's.
01:01:41Kipper.
01:01:42Say, I know where we could spend about six days.
01:01:44There must be a bicycle race around here somewhere.
01:01:46Mr. Kidley, listen.
01:01:48Huh?
01:01:49Listen.
01:01:50Kipper, whose name sounds not unlike your own,
01:01:53Mr. Kidley,
01:01:55Kipper's a dog.
01:01:57And you're not.
01:01:58What?
01:01:59Well, I mean, it says so right here.
01:02:04You got all mixed up with Kipper.
01:02:06Kipper's?
01:02:07No.
01:02:08Listen, listen.
01:02:10I am happy to report that both you and the dog are entirely normal.
01:02:14Normal?
01:02:16Oh, well, you're both all right.
01:02:19Oh, sure.
01:02:20Well, I wouldn't want to buy a dog.
01:02:23I am happy to report that both you and the dog are entirely normal.
01:02:26Mr. Kidley, it's wonderful.
01:02:27You're both all right.
01:02:28You're not going to die.
01:02:29You're going to live.
01:02:30It's wonderful.
01:02:31It's great.
01:02:32It's liable to...
01:02:33Or is it?
01:02:34Well, of course it is.
01:02:35I know, but that gang, I promised them I was going to kick off.
01:02:39They're going to be sore about this.
01:02:41Well, tell them you're only fooling.
01:02:43What, fooling with an Olympic pistol champion and a duelist?
01:02:46Say, if I don't die on time, something serious is liable to happen to me.
01:02:50Here.
01:02:51Now, nobody will know anything's happened, what it's all about.
01:02:54And we won't tell anybody a thing.
01:02:56Oh, Mr. Kidley, now we're really married.
01:03:00I mean, just like Ma and Pa and Mrs. Markwood and, well, everybody.
01:03:06Oh, yeah.
01:03:07Oh, what about Henry?
01:03:10Oh, yeah, Henry.
01:03:12Well, don't worry about him.
01:03:13I'll take care of him.
01:03:14Oh.
01:03:31Mr. Kidley.
01:03:33Hello, Henry.
01:03:34Could I speak to you for a moment, please?
01:03:36Why, sure.
01:03:37What's on your mind?
01:03:38Well, it's about Mickey and me, too.
01:03:40I ain't happy again.
01:03:42Why?
01:03:43What seems to be the trouble, Henry?
01:03:44Well, I know you don't like me, and I can't blame you for it.
01:03:48But I like you.
01:03:49Well, Henry, I like you.
01:03:51Well, let me see.
01:03:52Well, let me see.
01:03:53Well, let me see.
01:03:54Well, let me see.
01:03:55Well, let me see.
01:03:56Well, let me see.
01:03:57Well, let me see.
01:03:58Well, let me see.
01:03:59I like you.
01:04:00Well, let me finish, Mr. Kidley.
01:04:01Here you are doing everything for me,
01:04:04and, well, I want you to know that you're one of the finest men I ever met up with.
01:04:09Well, Henry, I'm a...
01:04:11I mean, I'm not really like you say at all.
01:04:14Why, Henry, if you only knew me, well, I'd double-cross my own...
01:04:16Oh, no, Mr. Kidley, I won't let you say a word again yourself.
01:04:20I guess I know a man when I see one.
01:04:23I know I'm nothing but a poor bus driver,
01:04:26and, well, you could cut me out with Mickey,
01:04:28me out with Mickey well just like that if you wanted to well I I don't know Henry things
01:04:35are different now I mean I just found out that Mr. Kidley you've done everything to
01:04:41make me and Mickey happy and well I guess you know how I feel about her I guess you
01:04:47know how I feel about you too and well that's all I just had to let it out except I'd like
01:04:53to shake your hand and tell you how sorry I am for being such a fool suspicion in you
01:05:00well don't worry about a thing Henry you're okay thanks Mr. Kidley
01:05:23I want you to take this Mr. Henry much you know it yes mom here is something for you
01:05:41thank you hello Mickey Oh Mr. Kidley I was just going to find you look Mickey I just I've been
01:05:54thinking this whole thing over I mean now that I'm gonna live and everything I kind of changes
01:06:00the whole setup it kind of puts a different angle on it I don't know what you mean Mr. Kidley well
01:06:05after all we hardly knew each other and this whole thing was a put-up job you know marriage
01:06:11is a serious sort of thing if you think of it for you mean you you don't want to be married to me
01:06:16Mr. Kidley well it was a lot of fun and everything Mickey but for it to be for the rest of our
01:06:21lives I you mean you don't love me well frankly Mickey I guess I don't naturally I'll give you
01:06:29the divorce you won't have any trouble and after everything's set you must go back to Henry well
01:06:38it it was nice being married to you Mr. Kidley even if we weren't really yeah it was a lot of fun
01:06:47it's kind of a surprise I I mean I thought it was gonna well I I guess that's the way things are
01:06:58with things huh oh sure things have a way of always turning out right Mickey yeah well I'll be seeing
01:07:06you
01:07:36I have been double-crossed this dog man he is without honor he will be walking the streets
01:08:00alive breathing the air listening to the birds going to the opera the movies well I what will
01:08:07I be doing all that time well unless you do something starting tomorrow your highness will
01:08:14be rotting in jail what is there to do what is there to do my friend there is only one thing
01:08:26Kretzky you are even a bigger stinker than I think yeah yes but that is all very fine but
01:08:38what good is it for me to make him go if to me they're going your highness you amaze me it's
01:08:48all very simple you make it look like an affair of honor it will not be your first due Kretzky
01:08:56Kidley he is in the bag oh Mickey oh you're going I mean those are your bags yes
01:09:18they're my bags well goodbye Mr. Kidney well you're really going well goodbye I I'll be
01:09:27thinking a lot about you I'll be thinking about you too Mr. Kidney Mr. Kidney you have tricked us
01:09:36oh this well you see Smirnoff I didn't know myself this is all that's right until yesterday he thought
01:09:42he was a dog really this is wasting time yes mr. Kidley I do not like your face yeah well if you
01:09:51had a face I wouldn't like it either that is an insult yes yes all right mr. Kidley I challenge
01:09:57you on now wait a minute wait a minute I apologize and I also apologize for that poke I gave you
01:10:02after the wedding what are you apologizing for don't take that from him he's trying to pick a
01:10:06fight with me he wants to shoot me full of holes oh well don't get married him smile something
01:10:12physical mr. Kidley if I should take this pigeon it and push it in your face what will you do well
01:10:22I'd get so mad I probably had mr. Kidley oh well sort of mad not very no I'd be more hurt than
01:10:30anything else I'd probably go away and never speak to you again
01:10:33Oh
01:10:45why you
01:10:59there how'd you like that not bad I like it
01:11:08are they wearing this type this year why you are pushing your my what
01:11:21you can't make a man mr. Smirnoff no matter what you do see
01:11:25very good natured
01:11:33see nothing bothers him does it
01:11:44I think we sold him okay this time I think up something for myself you're the suit miss you
01:11:57Mrs. Kidley I do not like your shoes I do not like your dress and I do not like your hat
01:12:09how'd you like that mr. Kidley why you let it go just a minute now perhaps your highness you're
01:12:22a cutie everybody is a witness I have been insulted oh no you haven't been insulted yet
01:12:32you have to be good natured to coffee cream and asparagus and peas now you have been insulted
01:12:44oh mr. Kidley you did it for me that proves it you do love me sure I do Mickey but what's the
01:12:50difference now now mr. Smirnoff wait a minute mr. Smirnoff really we didn't mean to throw all
01:12:55those things on you mr. Kidley my seconds will call on you we meet at dawn at the three dead
01:13:01oaks I'm sure I'll never find the place we will take you there did he say dead oaks dead oaks
01:13:31mr. Kidley yes please to stand up at that end of the field that in his highness does not like
01:13:43to shoot with the Sun in his eye oh well that's our how do you like that that guy Smirnoff kills
01:13:49me you said it he's supposed to be my second he's supposed to be on my side isn't he pistols oh
01:13:55those are the Swiss's he will be ready soon don't hurry him very good reload please only this time
01:14:13with a little more come what are you doing now I'm reloading the pistols with real bullets yes
01:14:31madam the kind that spread cheaper stop shaking yeah I don't know why you worry about this I'm in
01:14:44great condition you know that I this kind of a thing wouldn't bother me a second I just keepers
01:14:49even massage the I'm there no no massage the trigger finger all right
01:14:56hey jeepers Juno Oh John dear these are from us me too mr. Kidley ain't it wonderful we're gonna
01:15:13be married she swept me right off my feet I can't believe it myself John he's whittled his way right
01:15:18into my heart yeah we found the bonds you left me mr. Kidley oh no this time it's really love
01:15:23John goodbye John goodbye goodbye now you got everything all fixed now yes all you got to do
01:15:34is to tell him this there's a cross on the muzzle of the pistol with the bullet on a nick on the
01:15:40handle of the pistol with the blank oh I see oh yeah that's great give me that again there's a
01:15:46cross on the muzzle of the pistol with the bullet on a nick on the handle of the pistol
01:15:49with the blank it is a question of honor I will call you and of course no I'm not gonna pull it
01:16:02huh on the handle cross on the muzzle of the pistol with a bullet and a nick on the handle
01:16:12you're not gonna die I'm not gonna die you're not gonna be shot oh that's fine let's get out
01:16:18of here wait a minute wait jeepers yes you stand right over here and don't let them see you stay
01:16:23right there no I fixed it so you have when you pick out the gun yeah remember this remember
01:16:29there's a cross on the muzzle of the pistol with a bullet yeah and a nick on the handle I mean a
01:16:35nick on the handle of the pistol with a blank Oh Mickey Mickey give me that again quick I yeah
01:16:40there's a muzzle on the cross oh I mean the cross on the muzzle I'll be on the Mickey this is my
01:16:46life I'm I'll say well there's a don't get excited now I'm Kretzky Kretzky we cannot lose one of the
01:17:03pistols has no bullet in it what it is marvelous but how do you know which one well it's very
01:17:11simple there is a cross on the muzzle of the pistol with the bullet and a nick on the handle
01:17:15of the pistol with the blank brilliant your highness super what an idea a nick on the muzzle
01:17:23of the pistol with no no no I said there is a nick on the handle your highness distinctly said
01:17:31a cross on the handle no no I said there is a nick on the bullet on the handle you see attention
01:17:39the principals will now proceed to the center of the field Mr. Kidley please they're ready for you
01:17:45sir all right all right I've got it and a mistle on the nozzle of the pistol with a blank there is
01:17:54a cross on the handle of the muzzle with the bullet no there is a cross on the handle of the
01:18:00nickel you see no no no and a neck on the pull it up the whistle with a blank yeah all right
01:18:06stand away I think I've got it there's a nose on the crystal of the mistle with the pellet
01:18:13and the pull it on the nozzle of the nickel with the blank
01:18:16there's a cross on the puzzle of the mistle with a bullet there's a
01:18:19uh
01:18:30gentlemen select your weapons
01:18:33there is a nickel in the castle of the piece on the handle of the bullet with a pretzel here here
01:18:39here gentlemen come come there is a puzzle on the muzzle of the bullet the blanket
01:18:44and a whistle on the panel of the noodle with the cross shut up you shut up oh really
01:18:49gentlemen this is no time for incantations cross
01:19:06the cross on the muzzle and a nick on the handle of the pistol with a blank
01:19:11uh yeah blank ah ready would you like to trade pistols I'll give you mine and 40
01:19:21dollars mr smirnoff thank you I am very well satisfied yeah but I can't shoot with mine
01:19:24I'm left-handed it will not make any difference which hand you use gentlemen take your places
01:19:30uh
01:19:42on the world march you will oh uh your highness you dropped your pistol there
01:19:45you know no no no you dropped yours oh
01:19:50oh gentlemen retire on the word march you will start walking at 10 paces you will turn and fire
01:20:03ready march one two three no no no no no how how exception doesn't he know the rules oh mr kidley
01:20:12are you going to go through with this or do you wish to be branded as a coward
01:20:17yes bravo very well then ready again march one two three four five six seven eight nine ten
01:20:37what kind of blanks are these gee mrs marco that sure was white of you
01:20:42you sure can't shoot too always remember that henry my love oh mr kidley oh mr kidley who did
01:20:48it you shot the hand right out of his revolver yeah yeah imagine what i'd have done to him if
01:20:53i'd had a bullet in it oh john you're wonderful oh gee mr kidley i i got so excited i i called
01:20:59you john oh that's okay mrs kidley
01:21:29so
01:21:43you